Hello again :)
We'll I'm back with like a follow up on my haters blog post because someone asked me to do one with a bit more detail and I think that sometimes sharing experiences with each other actually helps someone else who is going through the same thing as you did.
Firstly, I would like to state a fact that everyone gets bullied. Whether you're an unknown or the most popular person in the world. Take this as an example: If you're the most popular girl in the whole school, there are bound to be people who are unconsciously/consciously jealous of you, or people who hate the fact that you're popular cause they don't think you deserve to be, those who are irrtated/annoyed, there are bound to be people calling you a slut, whore, bitch, mean etc etc but that's just because not everyone is going to have the same views as you do and different views just results in conflict.
Okay, take it the other way around. You're a loner, no friends, no one even notices you at all, no one wants to partner with you, you are always alone. There are bound to be people who may or may not say it in front of you that you're a loser, no one likes you, no one wants to be near you etc etc
SO NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE.
I THINK THAT EVERYONE FACES THIS BULLYING/HATING PROBLEM at least once in their life.
We all experience bullying at some point in our lives. Well now, because of technology, bullies are able to use modern communication methods like phones, social networking sites to target victims. This is the most common type of bullying, cyberbullying, which I believe is because with the internet, you can be anyone you want to be, there is a barrier between the bully and victim. This makes bullies feel more secure that they won't get in trouble or like they feel less guilt? Being an anon also makes bullies think that their tracks are covered, they won't get caught and it will make the victim seem like even strangers are hating on them, which makes them feel much worse. Actually if you believe it or not, 1 in 4 students get bullied in every classroom. Every classroom there will be a divider of cliques and everyone just usually sticks with their friends but I actually find that quite saddening. Because what if your clique decides they don't want you, then who do you have left to go to? We are all so separated in our small groups that once we are out of the group, we feel lost and insecure. That is why I feel like teachers and schools always try to have this need for class bonding sessions or events to help bring the class together. But all my school life, I never ever see that actually work. :(
Victims of bullying usually suffer from depression, whether the depression is just thoughts or if it's at it's extreme where self harm is involved, it's still depression and I believe that no one should go through that or even have the thought of escaping life by suicide.
RANDOM FACT: Bullies have 1in 4 chances of facing criminal chargees by the age of 30--- studies shown by the uk
If you or a friend is being bullied, you should really go tell someone. No that doesn't mean you run around the whole school trying to find a schoolmate or a friend to tell. I mean like really tell someone. And I frankly think that the best people to tell to is your parents. You parents don't have to storm down to the school and embarrass you and try to protect you. But just let them know that you'd like their support and hope that you aren't going through this alone. I get that parents can be such a nuisance sometimes but they are the ones that will never leave your side. They are your blood and families stick together, I don't think your parents would betray you or anything like that. I know some people have problems in confiding with your parents. I admit that I had the same problem when I got bullied. I thought I could handle things myself and I didn't want to tell my parents as I thought it was embarrassing to tell them. But after my parents found out I was very down every day, things were different and they found me crying a lot at home, they started to ask me why and I explained to them what's been happening. My parents are really harsh with what they said back HAHA but their words are true and logical.
My mum said "Kylie, why are you so stupid for crying and bothering about these shitty people. They are useless in your life. Crying about this is not going to change anything. You know something to cry about is like if our family goes bankrupt or someone in our family died. Stop giving us your sad and black face every day. We give you so many privileges, only for you to come home, cry and not talk to us."
That kind of sank into my head. At first I thought my mum was being very harsh and mean because she didn't ask me if I was okay or did I get hurt and she didn't comfort or hug me at all. But her words soon came to make sense to me. Like why am I wasting tears and time over people who don't have to be part of my life. My parents give me everything and I come home everyday looking depressed. It just makes them feel like they aren't being good parents when they actually are. But that took me a long time to figure that out! HAHA
The bullying actually started with people calling me skinny, anorexic, bulimic, ugly, loser, fuck face, dumb etc. Which I thought were all true at first, but then I realised, I wasn't anorexic or bulimic. I was skinny because of my metabolism rate. I was born with this face and I don't want to do anything to it because I don't want to look the same as someone else. I don't want plastic surgery to have the same eyes or cheekbones as someone. If this was what god gave me, then it shall be what I deal with and receive happily. I always tell myself, thank god I'm human and not some alien species living on planet jupiter or something that cannot experience the amazing life, technology, scenery and wonders of living on earth. No matter how cliche "Life is beautiful" sounds, it's actually true. It just depends on how you look at it.
As I grew older, I got bullied by girls AND boys. Boys made me feel more insecure than girls. They would call me ugly, worthless and all the words like slut, bitch, whore came into the picture and that really upset me because I knew I wasn't a slut, whore or a bitch. And during this process, I guess I developed some defensive mechanism where if someone insulted me, I would do the same things back. That's probably why I was called a bitch. I am not proud of what I have done but it's something I have to live with and deal with cause whatever's done been done. SO I WOULD STRONGLY SUGGEST people not to do what I did. It worked for me but it's not really a method you would want to try because more people who didn't even hate you or like you (neutral) would begin to hate you because you become some mean person, you become the bully. AND THAT IS SMTH WE DO NOT WANT.
WHY?
BECAUSE WE ARE TRYING TO STOP BULLYING.
I literally thought people would go after me and really bully me but until now they really never did. People purposely got me in trouble when I didn't do anything, so I had to deal with that. Everything that made me smile or happy was lame and the bullies would just try to ruin it for me. I think that most bullies bully because of insecurity. THEY ARE INSECURE OF THEMSELVES. Because if you know who you are and you are very sure and confident that you are strong and better than another person, why would you waste ur time telling others that they suck, they are losers, they are low people, worthless? You won't have the need to insult others just to make yourself look good or feel good. My school is with a lot of rich families, people who live in town with the expensive houses and etc. I do carry branded bags because I share them with my mum or like my mum gets them for me because she thinks I'm performing well in school and that's kind of how she wants to reward me. But I get comments saying like all the bags are fake, I am fake, I am "POOR AS HELL" and other nasty comments.
I'm sure I'm not the worst one who got bullied. There are many many other people who get bullied physically and mentally every day with no one to care for them until they turn to suicide. So to those who are bullied, I would like to say to stop pitying yourself and do something about it because that's the only way to stop the hurt. Ignore the haters and the bullies. Just stay out of their way, don't purposely run into them. If you argue back with them, that's kind of giving them what they want. Unless you push the right buttons and hurt them back... but that's not the point because we are trying to STOP BULLYING. SO IGNORE ALL OF THEM. SHUT THEM OUT. THEY DO NOT NEED TO BE PART OF YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE. I know it's upsetting but when you grow older, it's not a big deal. You're going to look back laughing at why you put yourself through depression, why you cried for them, why you bothered caring what they thought of you.
I think the best ways is to find something for you to escape the hurt. NOT SUICIDE OR SELF HARM. I don't wish to see anymore teens cutting themselves or killing themselves. I have people telling me and spamming me nasty comments every day, some even includes killing myself. But don't look at those comments, close the window and delete them all. You will feel better once you don't have the mean comments visually in front of you. Music was my escape really, I started writing songs and usually when I'm happy, upset or angry, I listen to music and calm myself down. Even crying while listening to music really helps because finally something can relate to me.
I know these are all just a bunch of words to some people but I truly understand how people who are bullied feel like. I think that it's very hard to be happy with yourself because we are so young and still trying to figure out who we are so when someone comes in and say we are ugly, horrible, disgusting, ew, a lot of us would take that to heart and feel hurt.
You aren't alone in this world, everyone is going through the same thing as you. You just have to go through this phase in your life and if you learn how to deal with it, you'd be a better person! So start smiling and raise that head up high and be proud of who you are. Don't change yourself for just a few people out of the millions out there. Stay true to yourself and just let the loved ones come in to your life.
GOOD LUCK! xx
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